Referability is the state of being highly referable or easy to refer. What makes you highly referable or easy to refer? Simple, it’s providing a service that is of high value to the people you want to attract.

But here’s the kicker. It’s not about whether YOU think you offer a valuable service, it’s whether the person you’re trying to attract perceives your service (and you) as highly valuable. It’s about how well you communicate your value.

Now it may seem like we’re splitting hairs here, but this is an important distinction. This distinction flavors your approach to referrals, and it dramatically impacts the results you’re likely to achieve.

Let’s start with a key principle of referrals: Most clients making a referral do so in order to help their friend or colleague, not to help the the person being referred.

At first blush, this may not seem like a profound statement, but it really is. Why? Because many referral efforts fail because they’re focused, whether consciously or unconsciously, in the wrong direction. They are focused on the benefit to the person being referred rather than on the benefit to the referee.

Think about it. When you ask for a referral, what do you say? “Can you share with ME the names of other people you know who might benefit from my services?” Or “I’d really appreciate if you could tell your friends about ME.

What does it mean or look like to shift your focus? It means you focus on what you can do for the friend or colleague referred rather than what the referral means to you. In terms of specifics it means you understand where your value intersects with the prospect’s needs and wants and you can effectively communicate your value proposition, the kinds of problems you solve for people, and where you do your best work.

It means ensuring that your best clients not only understand this but can easily and effortlessly communicate your value to their friends and colleagues. You are far better served employing a “pull” approach where you focus on making yourself a resource that clients will be eager to share, rather than a “push” approach where you focus on collecting names or directing clients to tell all their friends about what a great guy or gal you are.