Social media is currently a buzz that is turning into a necessity. Firms that don’t start to use social media APPROPRIATELY will be seen as old-line firms that do not listen to their clients. See, social media is driven entirely by the readers. And, readers are your customers.

We could divide every firm into two parts: 1) the firm’s capabilities and 2) the firm’s credibility. Capabilities are products, features, technology – which are encapsulated in the formal marketing messages. Credibility is the firm’s character and qualities.  That is often encapsulated in the informal a corporate identity message. Who is the firm? What do they do? What’s their story?

Every firm has formal and informal messages. Traditional marketing is the formal message. If all you have is a sales pitch, you will lose big-time in the coming years.  What you say to people in friendly conversation about your firm is the informal message.  And, THAT is what you’d say in social media.

We have a new client in Houston. They do employee benefits – an old-line, traditional industry. I explained social media to the owner and he literally jumped over the phone. He had never considered how an informal message transmitted through an informal medium could be so important to him. In the next few weeks he and I will get together and develop a package of micro-messages that articulate the messages he wants to make about his firm.

We might develop 50 statements that his internal marketing person can then drop into various social media discussions. In that way, he builds a reputation for having great wisdom and relevant expertise.

Pam and I believe that many firms that don’t use social media just don’t understand it.   As in every new technology, it’s not about the damn technology!  It’s about People!  The technology is simply different types of gathering places.  Where are your future customers?  That’s where you need to start “lurking” and figuring out how to add value.

– Michael Lovas

We (co-author Michael Lovas and I) have written quite a lot about first impressions. In particular the series of subconscious assessments that go on when we first meet someone. We know that the first thing that goes on is the “am I in danger?” assessment.

Every time a stranger looks at you, he or she makes a split-second determination as to whether you are friend or foe. Also among those split second assessments is an analysis of your attractiveness, likeability and credibility.

According to Princeton researcher and professor Alex Todorov, we are “hard wired” to quickly draw these inferences.

“The link between facial features and character may be tenuous at best, but that doesn’t stop our minds from sizing other people up at a glance. We decide very quickly whether a person possesses many of the traits we feel are important, such as likeability and competence, even though we have not exchanged a single word with them. It appears that we are hard-wired to draw these inferences in a fast, unreflective way.”

For more on first impressions, and in particular what people are “reading” to make these assessments, check out our book Axis of Influence – How Credibility and Likeability Intersect to Drive Success.

For more on Alex Todorov, check out All Things Considered, June 9, 2005 – Scientists Search for Winning Look. Forget political polls. Scientists usually can tell whether political candidates will win or lose by testing voters’ reactions to the contestants’ faces. A study in the journal Science shows that voters chose the face that looks more “competent.”

Professor Todorov’s Princeton Website

Pam’s favorite researcher Alex Todorov, along with fellow Princeton researcher Nikolaas Osterhof developed a computer program that allows scientists to analyze what it is about certain human faces that makes them look either trustworthy or fearsome. In doing so, they have also found that the program allows them to construct computer-generated faces that display the most trustworthy or dominant faces possible.  Take a look at http://www.princeton.edu/main/news/archive/S21/79/44O45/index.xml?section=topstories

“Humans seem to be wired to look to faces to understand the person’s intentions,” said Todorov, who has spent years studying the subtleties of the simple plane containing the eyes, nose and mouth. “People are always asking themselves, ‘Does this person have good or bad intentions?’”

To conduct the study, the scientists showed unfamiliar faces to test subjects and asked them to describe traits they could gauge from the faces. The scientists boiled down the list of traits to about a dozen of the most commonly cited characteristics, including aggressiveness, unkemptness and various emotional states. The researchers showed the faces to another group and asked them to rate each face for the degree to which it possessed one of the dozen listed traits.

Using a commercial software program that generates composites of human faces (based on laser scans of real subjects), the scientists asked another group of test subjects to look at 300 faces and rate them for trustworthiness, dominance and threat.

Common features of both trustworthiness and dominance emerged. A trustworthy face, at its most extreme, has a U-shaped mouth and eyes that form an almost surprised look. An untrustworthy face, at its most extreme, is an angry one with the edges of the mouth curled down and eyebrows pointing down at the center. The least dominant face possible is one resembling a baby’s with a larger distance between the eyes and the eyebrows than other faces. A threatening face can be obtained by averaging an untrustworthy and a dominant face.

Princeton researcher and Professor Alexander Todorov discovered that when we see a new face, our brains make split-second judgments on whether or not that person is trustworthy, attractive and competent.

Todorov says, “The link between facial features and character may be tenuous at best, but that doesn’t stop our minds from sizing other people up at a glance. We decide very quickly whether a person possesses many of the traits we feel are important, such as Likeability and competence, even though we have not exchanged a single word with them. It appears that we are hard-wired to draw these inferences in a fast, unreflective way.” 

Kevin Hogan, author of The Science of Influence, explains it this way:  “When you first meet someone, millions of neurons in the brain are activated.  The unconscious mind goes immediately to work, makes all kinds of judgments and evaluations, and essentially pegs the person a winner or loser in approximately four seconds.”

So knowing that people make these split-second decisions, what can you do to ensure thier first impressions of you are positive?

Let’s begin with Trust since this is the first thing the brain registers.  What can you do to help people trust you? 

First step, make yourself safe.  Ever see any of the Discovery Channel shows about animals fighting?  They puff up and try to look as large and intimidating as possible.  That’s what you’d do to if you were going to do battle.  Trust is the opposite of that, and it includes these elements: 

• Smile in your eyes
• Look – directly at the person, around the eyes but not into the eyes (no glaring)
• Open trusting posture – open palms
• Sideways tilt of your head
• Nod – encourage the conversation by saying, “Uh huh…OK…I see”

Why are those postures important?  For two reasons:  1) They are the main tools we use to communicate friendliness and trustworthiness and  2)  Nonverbal cues carry much more information than verbal ones.

This segment is drawn from our new book Axis of Influence – How Credibility and Likeability Intersect to Drive Success.  Stay tuned for more on Making a Favorable First Impression.

Alex Todorov said:

“The link between facial features and character may be tenuous at best, but that doesn’t stop our minds from sizing other people up at a glance. We decide very quickly whether a person possesses many of the traits we feel are important, such as likeability and competence, even though we have not exchanged a single word with them. It appears that we are hard-wired to draw these inferences in a fast, unreflective way.”

All Things Considered, June 9, 2005 Forget political polls. Scientists usually can tell whether political candidates will win or lose by testing voters’ reactions to the contestants’ faces. A study in the journal Science shows that voters chose the face that looks more “competent.” http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=4696649

Professor Todorov’s Princeton Website
http://weblamp.princeton.edu/~psych/psychology/research/todorov/index.php

More than once I’ve heard people use their personality type as an excuse for bad behavior. “I’m a Driver, that’s what we do” or “I can’t help it, I’m a thinker, not a doer.”

To this I say WRONG! I don’t believe in excuses at all, particularly those that justify the continuance of bad behavior. This is especially bad when it comes from people who have been trained in our Face Values program or other “read and connect” type programs that help people flex and connect with those who are different.

The overall objective is to be able to flex into those colors or personality types that are not primary for you. This is the mark of the truly successful. Some people have it easier than others because they are more of a natural blend of types. It’s easy for me to flex from Analytical to Expressive, because I have a lot of Expressive in my blend. Not so easy to go into Amiable, but that doesn’t stop me from getting there. I’ve developed a couple of “state change” routines that put me into the mindset of a different personality type. If I want to go into Amiable, for example, I change my voice to the voice I use to talk to my pets. This vocal change resets my brain and I am able to communicate in Amiable mode.

We were working on a piece on charisma the other day and it dawned on me that charisma is really just the ability to fluidly move in and out of different styles so that you connect with everyone. Think about people you know who you consider charismatic. Are they strongly one color – all Driver, all Thinker, all Expressive? Not likely.

Barack Obama is a great example of charisma and of someone who naturally flexes. Next chance you get, watch him. If you’re familiar with face values, watch how his face changes and moves through the different “states.” Listen to the sound of his voice, his tone and pace. He is soft spoken, yet powerful.

The best video example is when he was on the Oprah show. If you get a chance to watch that, I’d highly recommend it. I couldn’t find a copy of that on the web, but here’s another good choice – Barack on the Charlie Rose Show.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=5456752353400414374?

P.S. This is not a political endorsement, it is merely an example of a blended, flexible demeanor.