We’ve talked a lot lately about trust and credibility and whether once lost, if they can be rebuilt. The answer from my perspective is a resounding yes, and no.  The reason I’m so wishy washy on this topic is that the business of building trust and losing trust, and then rebuilding it again is in itself a slippery slope.

Can it be rebuilt once lost?  Yes, but if you’re the type of person or company that gets into trouble in the first place, are you the type of person or company with the ability to make the kinds of changes that will enable you to rebuild trust?

These kinds of changes are fundamental, values-based and don’t happen over night.  You can’t buy your way back into trust. Nor can you talk your way back in.  It happens slowly as a result of authentic demonstrations of trusted behavior.

Imagine that you have a “trust fund.”  When you demonstrate trustworthy behavior, you add to that fund.  When you breach trust you take away from it.  A trust fund is generally built slowly over time, but can be depleted quickly by catastrophic breaches, like BP’s disaster in the Gulf.

So the best thing you can do, whether you’re a company or an individual, is to make sure you are continually adding to your  trust fund so that when something negative occurs, you have some padding or trust in reserve. In the event that you essentially wipe out the entire account, as BP has, you have to get busy putting trust back in.  How do you do that?

Start with putting real people in real people-to-people situations.  Give the community (both large and small) an opportunity to get to know the real people of BP, and to see how they are actively working to solve the problem and rebuild the communities damaged by the spill.

CEO Tony Hayward has said on several occasions that “BP takes full responsibility….. and will do whatever it takes to…..”  but these are simply words. Words do not by themselves rebuild trust. We need to see actions.  Give us examples of what taking responsibility actually looks like.

Rebuilding trust is not an easy task, but it can be done and it must be done in order for a company to survive. We’ll talk next time about the effect of trust or lack of trust on the bottom line, and how we can use this motivator to change behavior.

-Pam Holloway

We’ve worked with a lot of individuals and organizations over the years who believed they were credible. Sadly, it’s not what you think that matters. Credibility rests with the other person in the relationship.  It’s about how others perceive you.

The hard truth is, no matter how great your personal integrity or competence, it is not you who gets to determine your Credibility.  In truth, Credibility can only be given to you by other people.  Some people may have had direct experience with you and your credibility.  Others may have only expereinced you through media or by reputation.  Either way, they have gathered impressions and perceptions that influence how they feel about you.

Acceptance of this reality is often a profound experience for business professionals.  They begin by arguing that they are credible and thus should be perceived that way.  Doesn’t matter.  That’s not how it works.

Once you accept this reality and begin to understand the things that influence perception and begin to manage the perception in a positive way, that’s when you can really make a difference in your life and in your business.

If you’re a guy who loves his freedom, there is no greater kiss of death than to hook up with a girl who is “high maintenance.” She sucks the life right out of you. I know – I’ve been there. No matter how good the sex is…no matter what a trophy she is, if she needs a lot of hands-on and emotional support – RUN!

So, how do you know? How can you tell if your GF is going to suck the life out of you? I’m gong to teach you three ways:

1. Look at her forehead. If she rarely ever moves here eyebrows up, that’s a red flag. People who have smooth (no wrinkles) on their forehead, do not have a flexible range of emotions. They tend to need to be in control. How does that fit with your lifestyle? This is not a rule – it’s just a guideline, something to watch out for.

2. Next look at her eyes, or the outside of her eyes. Does she smile there a lot? People who have little smile lines at the outside of their eyes are telling you that they smile a lot. That’s good. The alternative is unacceptable – if you’re a guy who likes to laugh, likes people and is naturally friendly.

3. The voice. Ever hear a little girl talk? They have that sing-song baby talk sound. In a perfect world, only little girls would talk that way. Unfortunately, some little girls are traumatized. And, some of them get stuck in that emotional space for a long time.

That’s usually called “arrested development.” It means that part of your trophy GF is still a little girl doing whatever she can to get her emotional needs met – the needs that were not met when she was a little girl. That easily includes lying.

It’s a sad situation, but it’s also a dangerous one. If you’re not trained in how to deal with an abuse victim, you’re exposing yourself for a lot of anguish. I know – been there and have the emotional scars to show for it.

– Michael Lovas

On Friday morning (Jan 16), Pam and I delivered a three-hour teleconference presentation to the Society of Financial Services Professionals. It wasn’t supposed to be a tele-event, but frozen fog closed down the Spokane airport and I literally could not get to Tucson, where the conference was being held.

The point I kept driving home during the program was WHY. Why should you take your credibility seriously? And, the reasons is represented by two words: Bernie Madoff.

Madoff represents all the other financial people who have disgraced themselves and deeply hurt their clients. Consumers see this connection immediately: one bad apple embarrasses the entire industry. Dozens of bad apples destroys the industry’s credibility. So, in the mind of the consumer world, financial advisors, portfolio managers, insurance agents, bankers – anyone connected to the money industry is a potential crook. Period.

That’s a huge hurdle to overcome if you’re in the industry. In order to step forward and work through that mess, you absolutely MUST remain vigilant of the consumer attitude and let that be your guide. You must take a proactive position and work to prove your value. But, again, it’s a hurdle. The values you need to be conscious of are not your own. They are those of your clients and target markets.

Right now, the world does not care about you or your values. They don’t believe what you say and are skeptical about your intentions. And they’re justified in their skepticism because of the long list of negative headlines about the many different financial people who have bilked their clients out of their life savings. Bernie Madoff is just the most recent.

So, in your efforts to rebuild your reputation from the ashes, you need to learn what your prospect’s values are. Then ask which of those values are also your values. It is the values you share that will be your most powerful connection with that person. That connection will buy you a moment in time, and in that moment you can begin to activate the process of developing credibility.

– Michael Lovas

How can you be more effective in promoting “you” in your business? Easy. You can do it by accomplishing these four goals:

1 Controlling the perception of who the prospect perceives you to be.
2 Building a perception of you as a provider of authentic value.
3 Building a perception of your product or service as a desired value in an extremely cluttered marketplace.
4 Show how much you are like your target market.

The idea is so simple; the more you are like your target market, the more they like you. The more you share their values, the more they like you. The more they like you, the greater the probability they will see the value in you and what you can do for them.

How can you accomplish those three goals? It’s tough. You need to use database technology, relationship marketing, advertising, public relations, journalism and academics. And, you must package them all, so they perform as marketing, not sales, not data, not hype. More specifically, Wave Marketing, because that’s what works best to build a relationship with your readers, prospects or clients.

What are the keys to Successful “You” Marketing?

Key Number 1. Be committed to being in the right place at the right time with the right information to inspire positive action. You can accomplish that by conducting an integrated, sequential, long-term marketing program that combines: creative tactics, thoughtful analysis of your list, projections of client values, journalistic and academic techniques. Most important, however, you need to shift your perspective to understand how other people see you through their own eyes.

Key Number 2. Make sure you are perceived as all of the following:

1 An expert who conducts research and shares important knowledge.
2 A kindred soul who is informing instead of selling.
3 A professional who is more interested in presenting truth than opinion.
4 Providing value instead of focusing on quick sales.

You accomplish those things by quoting credible magazines and news sources that your target market values, and by contacting your target over an extended period of time. You can’t afford to be seen as the business world’s version of a one-night-stand. Visit again, call, buy the prospect flowers, take him or her to a nice dinner (figuratively, of course). But above all, write!

Bottom line. The point that most marketers and writers miss is the shift in perception. When you understand your target market from their perspective, you can be highly successful at reaching them and influencing them to pay attention to you. Until you make that shift, you are reduced to throwing product pitches. The more frantic you get for business, the more obnoxious your pitches become. Who wants that?

Is effective marketing important to you? If so, contact us right away. We prove a unique service where we analyze your marketing for both the effective and ineffective psychology. Then, we’ll tell you what to fix, or if you want, we’ll fix it for you. Find us now at www.aboutpeople.com — Michael Lovas

Every person you approach experiences an emotion, and logically, he or she expresses that emotion. Where? On the face.

Good news for you, most people do not know what facial expression they wear when they greet someone new. That includes you. If you want to make people feel comfortable and special, you need to give them a warm, open and sincere face. But, what does that look like?

Way too many sales people wear a frown at the moment they meet someone new. Because we wrote a book on reading people (Face Values), we understand that the frown is the sign of an Analytical personality type. But prospects are unaware of that. They think a whole host of things: indigestion, trouble at your home, business slump, federal investigation, computer crash, or worse. The expectation given by that frown is anything but inviting.

So, the question is, what face should you be wearing when you meet someone new? There are two answers. First, look into the face in front of you and wear that same face. Doing that will tell the visitor that you understand his or her state of mind. Second, start with a smile in your eyes, then adjust to wear the same face as the other person. The smile buys you a little time to make the adjustment and it gives a welcoming first impression.

Imagine the visitor’s eyebrows are lowered and he’s biting his lip. What would you assume from that? Probably that there’s something troubling him or her. It would then be reasonable that you would say, “You look like there’s something on your mind. Is there anything I can do to help?”

The psychological strategy here is to match the visitor’s face. Sounds easy, but it’s not. When I teach this little skill in seminars, I direct the audience to match all my own facial expressions for a few minutes. They find it almost impossible to do. Especially the more analytical people in the audience. Analytical people seem to have an inability to move many facial muscles. If you can’t move your face, you can’t match the visitor’s face, and if you can’t do that, you miss out on the most powerful tool in your relationship-building bag of tricks.

In Closing. Credibility is the result of a complex process. You have to purposefully put the process into play, and you need to know how to use the specific steps and elements inside the process. But, just why is credibility important? Because the American business has taken a gut punch – a rapid and catastrophic disintegration of credibility. And, it directly affects anyone in sales.

Consumers (or investors) see the horror stories in the media. They know the country is in a sad state. And, they associate you with it. After all, you are a representative of it, right? So, while you are likely to be a paragon of competence and honesty, your target market now lumps you in with the industry’s problems. That means you need to learn how to fortify and build your credibility. And, you need to initiate a Credibility Strategy like yesterday! Where to start? Start with your face!

If you like what you see here, you’ll love what we can do for you in real life. Find us at: www.aboutpeople.com — Michael Lovas

The traditional marketing and advertising world has been driven by demographicis (see previous post) for generations. But why? Because it’s easy to get and it is easy to measure. Whereas, people are mess, unpredicatable and difficult to measure.

The step beyond demographics is called “psychographics.” That’s general descriptions of target markets. Sara Palin represented a psychographic – hockey moms. That descriptive will give you some idea of what those people are like. But, it doesn’t give you enough to be really compelling.

You can’t use a generic description to target an individual, and all great/effective marketing targets one individual. What kind of information should you be looking for? It’s called “mental filters.” Actually, the technical term is “meta programs.”

You would find people who are representative of the audience you want to attract. Then, you would interview them to determine their mental filter configuration. That would give you the words, phrases and language patterns that you should use in your marketing – and selling.

That is the big secret in marketing! But because it requires a lot of study, training and experience to be able to use mental filters effectively, very few copywriter (or marketers) even know what they are. Instead, they rely on cute. Can you hear me now? — Michael Lovas

Sorry sound so provocative, but – I was a copywriter for a huge corporation, so I know how they are trained and what they are praised for. It’s not for being smart – it’s for being cute. And, frankly, cute doesn’t work to drive results.

For example, one of the main types of information given to copywriters is called “demograpics.” That’s your zip code, houshold income, age – that stuff. So, what does any of that have to do with your decision-making strategy or personal values? ZERO!

The point is, when you want to produce marketing that actually works, do not look to copywriters! Where would you look? Look for someone who knows how to use psychology in marketing. Look for someone who understands the dynamics of “imbedded commands.” Look for someone who has at least taken some classes in language patters. And, avoid anyone who does not have those qualities! — Michael Lovas

James E. Cayne, CEO of Bear Stearns – did you see him on TV as he announced that Bear Stearns had no liquidity problems?

Pam and I watched fascinated as he made up answers and improvised his way into history. What we were looking at was where his eyes went. Mainly, he looked straight ahead to answer questions. That’s exactly what Idaho Senator Larry Craig did. Both were delivering memorized answers. Then, Cayne would look off to his right. He looked up-right and then level-right. What was he doing? He was creating his answers. They were off the script or away from the talking points.

In the study of Neuro-linguistic Programming, we learn that where a person looks tells you the type of information he or she is accessing. up-right is where people go to create a visual. level-right is where they go to create a sound.

The other thing Cayne did was the “stuck blink.” That’s when you seem unable to raise your eyelids, as though they’re stuck. The person starts giving an answer and then blinks. If the blink gets stuck, you can tell that the person is unsure about what he’s saying. The “stuck blink” is like President Bush’s stammering. He’s just not sure of the answer, or he’s not sure how the reporters will accept it. Either way, he’s not sure.

Pam and I have been studying facial cues for a long time. Normally, we just pay attention to the facial lines and movement that show us what that person’s personality type and values are. But, lately, we’re just having too much fun watching the CEOs stammer during CNBC interviews.

Want to learn how to do this? Just contact us via our website: www.aboutpeople.com

Most people see a credibility gap as the difference between the credibility you possess right now and the credibility you need right now. That perspective is impractical. It’s like working to decide what you should have done months or years before. Perhaps a better approach is to look at your own credibility gap as it affected by time. In other words, when do you need your credibility, in relation to when you start working on it. If you need credibility today, do you have it? If not, how long ago should you have started working on it?

As a practical example, let’s take the current economic situation: a downward slide. When your clients freak out over it, who are they going to call? Who are they going to blame? Who are they going to replace? You?

Let’s look at this question a different way. Which of the following do you think will help you most to weather that scrutiny? Your product selection? Your firm’s advertising campaign? Marketing materials? The back office support? Your technical skills?

Unfortunately, none of the things you use to build the operations side of your business will work to improve your credibility. While those things may be important to you, they are likely to be of zero importance to your clients and prospects.

• Bottom line: our credibility is entirely in the hands of other people who don’t know or care about the technicalities or details of your business.

  Your clients can take comfort that you are there – but only IF you have already built your credibility with them. If you have not already taken the specific steps to build your credibility in their eyes, you’re already losing the race.

• Building your credibility takes time. You can’t do it overnight.
• Credibility is not the result of an event. It is the result of a scientific process.
• You can’t do it by getting a designation or by delivering a seminar.
• There is no silver bullet.

The Payoff – once you have attained credibility with someone, you open the possibility of being embraced by that person, thus launching a client relationship, one that will bring you referrals.

However – in order to do that, you have to learn the steps of the process, then strategically put each one into play. With each step, you increase your credibility a little more. The more you know about the process, the better prepared you will be to create opportunities and improve your credibility.

We’ve identified the four major steps in the process, and the variations of each step. In this space, I will illuminate and explore what the different steps are and how you can put them to work for you.

You can’t improve your Credibility if you don’t know how. So, want to improve your Credibility? Let us help! Just contact us via our website: www.aboutpeople.com

– Michael Lovas